Tell Me Everything's Alright
by something-wild-cat
Summary: "It's lonely and I miss you." — When he wakes up in the hospital, Takatora has piles and piles of letters to open. Among these are several handwritten ones from his brother. — [Kamen Rider Gaim, set post-series] One Shot.
_**Summary** : "It's lonely and I miss you." — When he wakes up in the hospital, Takatora has piles and piles of letters to open. Among these are several handwritten ones from his brother. — [Kamen Rider Gaim, set post-series] One Shot._

 _As this is set post-series... There are spoilers. Fair warning._

 _ **Disclaimer** : Micchi is precious and sadly I do not own his character. Nor do I own any of the characters mentioned, because I do not own Kamen Rider Gaim._

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 **TELL ME EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT**

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he was here for his brother now, _takatora reminded himself as he forced his fingers to try and open the first letter. kouta had said, help your brother. he'd try, with all he had. here was a good place to start. hastily opened was the letter; but takatora was careful to not let it be hastily read._

—{~}—

 **Letter 0 - _it would have been written on_ _day 31, according to the date scribbled in the corner. also known as one month after the destruction of helheim. the note is written hastily on a napkin and shoved awkwardly into the envelope containing the first letter._**

You were found, Niisan, and brought to the hospital today. If I had paper with me I'd write this properly.

I can't believe you're alive, Niisan. I'd say get well soon, but the doctors say they don't know if you'll recover.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 1 - _day 33; the crumpled letter clearly has a tear stain on the bottom right corner, next to the signature. it is contained in a business envelope, and could be mistaken for just another death threat, if it weren't for the simple address "niisan" written in green pen._**

Dear Niisan,

It's been awhile since I talked to you like this. It's been awhile since you listened. I guess now's a good time.

Most of the stuff that's happened isn't of note. Zawame is coming back to life. People are glad for that.

Kouta and Kaito are both dead, or at least I think they are. Judging by how the world hasn't ended, I think Kouta got the forbidden fruit. It's the only thing you could expect for a person like Kouta. They would have come back now if they were alive, or at least Kouta would have; that's why I think they're dead. I miss Mai a lot too. Everything I did was for her, but now even she's dead.

I've lost a lot of things, Niisan. I can't go back to dancing, and the house feels really empty without you. I never thought I'd say that, really, but at least when you were there I could predict my life. I knew where I was going.

Now everything just seems empty. Hours wandering around Zawame, doing nothing. I don't think there's anyone who knows the streets as well as I do by now.

Who would have thought. A powerful Kureshima boy knowing the streets. Remember, Niisan, when you told me what my path in life was going to be? It's not that now. It's not power. Professor Ryouma told that to me, and I still hate him for it. He's dead too, by the way. Kaito killed him. I guess you're not too sad about that, but I thought I'd let you know.

It's fine if you don't wake up, Niisan. I just want you to know I miss you, a lot.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 2 - _day 37, written on the back of a picture of the new charmant café._**

Hey, Niisan.

Charmant's back up and running. Oren-san has a new type of melon cake to try. Grape decorations. I didn't try it, although I wanted to. I wanted to avoid Jounouchi. Seems like you'd like it though.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 3 - _day 41's letter is small note written on off-white paper with the yggdrasill logo top and centre. the kind of stationery that takatora keeps in his study at home, and the black ink guesses that the pen is from his study as well._**

Dear Niisan,

They want me to dance with them again. Zack especially. And apparently Jounouchi thinks I should too, but I don't see him dancing. He seems to have found his place, Jounouchi, and Charmant's doing better than it did before Helheim. Zack told me to try the melon cake.

I still haven't.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 4 - _day 42's thoughts are written on a long, narrow strip of paper with a crease down the middle portrait orientation, and a dog-eared fold on one end. it's the way mitsuzane makes his bookmarks._**

Dear Niisan,

Noblesse oblige is stupid. I think we both figured that out, really, because look at all the trouble all the help we tried to give caused, but I have to write it down. I have to make sure I am really thinking that. Noblesse oblige is stupid.

Promise me that if you wake up you won't lecture me about it ever again.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 5 _\- day 50 is printed neatly on a sheet of plain white paper. the plainest-looking so far, and delivered in another business envelope. the address "niisan" is in dark purple ink, though the letter is written in blue._**

It's been a while, Niisan.

I need your advice. You probably won't answer me, but I'll feel better if I write it down.

Peko told me to get lost when he saw me watching the dance teams yesterday. Zack defended me, said I could watch if I wanted to. But I got what Peko meant. I nearly killed him, not too long after I almost killed you. Neither of us can forget what happened, and I doubt he'll forgive me.

I don't mind if you don't forgive me either, Niisan.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 6 - _by the date, it's_ _day 53. the pale green envelope also contains a brochure for charmant, and a picture of a slice of cake that must be melon-flavoured. the ink the letter is written in switches halfway through, from blue to a dark red._**

Hey, Niisan.

It feels really repetitive writing to you like this, over and over. But it really feels like you can hear me when I write to you like this. I'm leaving these letters by your bedside every time I write one. They're gone by the next time I come, so I assume the nurse picks them up. I don't know what she does with them.

I tried the melon cake. Jounouchi saw me staring in the window and forced me to sit down and try it. He won't say it, but I think he made the cakes for me, in hopes that I'd come in and try it one day.

It was good, Niisan, but I didn't enjoy it very much. It was a light cake. I felt empty when I ate it. I think you'd like it more than I did.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 7 - _day 56 hails another crumpled letter, this one on a piece of notebook paper that must have been shoved in mitsuzane's pocket for days._**

Dear Niisan,

I spend every day with you. I think you know that, even if I'm not writing letters everyday. What is there to write about most days? The streets aren't interesting like they used to be. I used to find chips in the wall, scrapes on the ground that were so obviously from the invasion they made me scared. Even though I knew it was gone, it felt like the threat was still there, you know? And now that feeling's gone away. The streets are dull now. I watch the dance teams when I'm not with you, although I'm careful to not let them see me most of the time.

Rat and Rica are dating now, according to Jounouchi, and Zack says he's looking at professional dance careers. I'm glad they're happy.

I wish it was that simple for us. There's no light at the end of the tunnel just yet for me. I don't know what you're dreaming of, but I hope there's light.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 8 - _day 61 is two months after the destruction of helheim. written on the back of what looks strangely like a faded dance poster, and tucked into a pale pink envelope._**

Dear Niisan,

I talked a little more with Jounouchi today. He asked me if I'd seen Hase-chan, if he'd shown up after he'd left Zawame. I told him no; he must have escaped in the first wave of evacuees. I can't cause any more pain, Niisan, I can't tell him. I'm still good at lying, Niisan. I hate it. Still, Jounouchi is Jounouchi, and I don't know if he bought what I said, but he told me to wait there. Gave me a bag of cookies to take home. There's enough for two of us in that bag.

I gave Zack one. I hope you don't mind. I told him not to bother me anymore. I think he will though. Zack is Zack. I saw him share the cookie with Peko, too. They're all happy, the Beat Riders. That's all I really ever wanted. It's not so easy though, is it?

It feels empty in the house without you, Niisan. I think I've said that before, but two months have passed and it's really starting to feel that way. I swear I've read every book in the study by now, and I can't stay there forever.

I wish you could give me some advice, Niisan. I miss you.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 9 - _day 64 is more yggdrasill stationery, only the handwriting is shakier, and in a maroon shade of ink. on the back is a dark purple scribble, one that looks a little like an apple._**

It feels like forever, Niisan.

I tried talking to myself in the mirror today. My voice is hoarse. I think it's because I haven't used it in a week. I've stopped talking to you because you never respond. The doctors say if I talk to you, it might help you recover, but it's been so long. I don't think it will work.

I miss you.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 10 - _day 72's crimson envelope contains two photographs, the first showing a posing team gaim, from before the invasion of helheim. the second shows mitsuzane, wearing a gaim hoodie and writing what appears to be the letter contained, at team baron's headquarters. the letter itself is on plain white stationery, with the team baron logo in the top right corner._**

Dear Niisan,

Zack invited me to Baron's headquarters a little while ago. Said Peko was out with Team Gaim and wouldn't be back for hours. It wasn't really an invite, because I tried to decline. He dragged me here anyway. So now I'm sitting at Team Baron's place, somewhere I thought I'd never be again.

Zack's trying to get me to talk, or he was, but I'm perfectly content just sitting here. It's a nice change of pace. As long as Peko's out, Zack's saying, I can stop by anytime.

It's not like I can be a part of Team Gaim anymore, but he gave me my hoodie back. I'd forgotten; the last time I wore it I left it in the team's garage, not buried in my closet like I thought. Anyway, it's sentimental. I realise you've never seen me wear it, so that's what the picture's for. Besides, that picture's hard for me to look at anyway.

It almost makes me think Helheim hadn't happened. That when I go home I'll have to hide this hoodie in my bag, and you'll lecture me on noblesse oblige again.

I miss when you used to do that, Niisan, however much I still can't stand to hear those words.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 11 - _day 76 is slightly wrinkled, like it had gotten wet in a few places. the blue ink is slightly smeared halfway through. more tear stains, on a simple piece of notebook paper._**

Hey, Niisan.

Jounouchi tried to get me to dance today. It was behind Charmant; I don't exactly know why I was there, but he told me to dance. Not for anybody, not with anybody, not to have fun or anything, he said. He just wanted to see me dance.

I actually tried, because he wouldn't let me leave without me trying, but it was hard. He said it didn't look natural anymore. He said it looked like I'd lost the will to live. He meant well, and he's usually pretty smart with words, so it shocked me. I tried in the mirror when I got home.

He's right, I guess. I danced to escape and have fun. Now what is there to escape from? I've said this so many times, Niisan, but I can't say it too much. It's lonely and I miss you.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 12 - _day 77 is a note, more than anything else, written and folded neatly. hardly a letter at all. scrawled in pencil._**

Niisan, it hurts. Being alone. Being at the top is lonely, but so is being at the bottom. Being nothing.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 13 - _day 79, according to the date. it is written on another piece of notebook paper, with what looks to be a faded sketch of armored rider gaim on the back. enclosed in a sky blue envelope._**

I thought everything was going to be okay, Niisan.

It hit me today. It's been almost three months since Kouta and Kaito and Mai died. It's been almost two months since they found you, which means you've been like this for longer.

You've been asleep for way too long.

I miss you, Niisan. It was okay for a while. And now it's not.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 14 - _day 82, a piece of plain white paper, the kind used for printers. it is neatly printed; the best handwriting mitsuzane has had for the past few letters._**

I miss you; I love you; I'm talking to you. Say something, Niisan. I'm talking to you again, everyday out loud.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 15 - _day 84 is hospital stationery for the first time, but it's new, because there's no trace of yggdrasill on it. no envelope; it is folded in half and almost missable among all the other letters._**

You look like you're dreaming, Niisan.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

 **Letter 16 - _day 90 is three months after the destruction of helheim. contained with the letter, in one final business envelope with the yggdrasill logo on it, is an old family photo of takatora and mitsuzane. as usual, it is addressed "niisan" in bright green pen._**

Dear Niisan,

It's been too long. I've tried everything. I've dealt with so much.

Wake up.

Love,

Mitsuzane.

* * *

 _ **AN:** I'll be frank. I hate Kureshima Mitsuzane. And it's for that reason that I love him. He's always been one of the most interesting characters ever to me, and I won't get in to how complex and deep his character is, and how much I connect with him, even if his actions and motivations are terrible. __Micchi has always intrigued me regardless of all that. The three month gap in the final episode before Takatora woke from his coma set the question in my mind: How did Micchi cope and deal with his life in Zawame without his older brother in that time period? I've kind of always liked the story idea of writing letters to somebody who might not ever read them, and so it seemed to put itself together._

 _Anyway, thanks for reading!_


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